Students Plot Drunken Orgy
"Let's get tipsy" Ringleader Harrison with companion
"Let's get tipsy" Ringleader Harrison with companion
By Timothy Dickens, Social Editor
EXCITED students from a London college have been planning a wild celebration and sparked fears of an out-of-control party that could end in tears.
Up to 16 young journalism students from No SWeat Journalism College have used social network sites and email to plan a boozy run-up to their graduation evening in Clerkenwell on Wednesday.
Young graduand and shorthand guru, Philip Harrison, is the ring leader of baccanalian plans dubbed irresponsible by sources at the college.
Unemployed Harrison, 22, from Hadleigh, Essex said in an email to students; “We were thinking of going a little early for graduation to get a little tipsy beforehand.”
In a clear attempt to encourage his peers to heckle their eccentric Director, Mr Stephen Ward, the student added; “the mix of alcohol and Stephen Ward speeches has gota [sic] be a winner.”
The scandal comes after reports of previous student drinking parties that have lasted well into the night. Several wannabe journalists close to Harrison have spoken of an evening out in Clerkenwell and Shoreditch, East London, that was an orgy of “curry, beer and mojitos” culminating in a five am bedtime for many involved.
Failed editor of the college newspaper, The New Spark, Timothy Dickens, said: “I am well up for the lash [heavy drinking] but I don’t understand why we don’t start earlier if the pub opens at 11. I mean, it’s not as if anyone has actually got a job to go to is it?”
No SWeat, based in Clerkenwell Green near the old offices of the Guardian Newspaper, is referred to as No HOpe by many students due to it’s failure to prepare it’s alumni for the digital media age and the current nespaper crisis.
No staff at the college were available for comment when this posting went to wordpress.
